state of...

I want to go to Canada. I want to live in Canada. I'm tired of the Philippines and the ruthlessly stupid politics.

I'm tired of adding a qualifier at the end of every, "I love my country..."

Listening to my grandparents or friends talk about Canada, or any other country feels like a breath of fresh air. Refreshing, new. And the feeling of longing just wells up it hits me in the gut.

I keep on wanting but I find myself in the same place, strangely more immobile than ever why is that I wonder?

Is it because I'm afraid I might fail before I even begin? I wish I could access my subconcious and just give it a good shake.

Energy, Passion, Drive -- all things I find myself lacking.

ETA: *sigh* The server for my images suddenly deleted my account, so now I have to use the generic templates -- or is it a message to get off my ass and design another layout?

Music: Il Padrino