Musings on Home and Personal Car disaster

I am the world's worse driver. Really. Who else in the world could dent a car just by parking? I hate parking, I suck at it. It's embarrasing and guilt inducing. Everytime I pass by the Lancer I become conscious of the dent, it's like its this big twisted metal empty eye socket glaring at me and blaming me.

I have to avert my head just so I won't glimpse the dent but I can see it in detail in my mind. It's very creepy. It's my tell-tale dent, is what it is.

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I've tried writing reviews for the past week and failed miserably but I forced myself to write a review on Home (Angel 4.22). It's such a great episode and watching it always reduces me to tears so it naturally deserves to be talked about.

It's not much but here are my thoughts:

The whole episode was a big heart wrencher. This episode sealed my love for complicated relationships and the broken characters who particpate in it.

For starters, Lilah is teh coolest. She's right up there with Irina Derevko for sheer cool factor. She's evil, she's hellbound and she doesn't regret a minute of it. She's accepted who she is and where she'll end up. She loves Wesley but doesn't hinder him. They were equals in their relationship and eventhough Wesley doesn't want to believe it she did love him.

My heart goes out to Wesley, he's come a long way from the dorky watcher in Sunnydale. He's seen the darkness in himself and yet he never stops believing in hope and fighting the good fight. It's his life. He wants so bad to make everything right but he just can't.

Just like Connor who's so screwed up he can't even recognize the only truth that could save him: Angel's love. He's been lied to so many times by everyone he's loved and cared about that he was willing to participate in a lie until he realizes that it wasn't enough and he just breaks.

And of course, there's Angel.

They keep calling him a champion, he's even taken to saying it but he knows deep down he's far from one. Angel knows how much he's messed up his personal relationships and how much he's failed as a father. He's failed so much that his Connor's gone psychotic and the only way he could save Connor was fulfilling the prophecy: The Father will kill the Son.

Connor is forgotten by all, except for Angel who once again takes the burden of remembering what is forgotten.

He goes to see Connor one last time, through a window interacting with his new family happy and well adjusted and stays around long enough to hear Connor toast to Family.

It's a deliberate echo of his dreams in the first episode of the season. It's the one thing he wants and he's given it to Connor and with that he walks away.

I think I'm going to go all misty again... this is one of the best episodes in Angel and damn WB for cancelling my show!!!