[update]: I've added a links page, it's a lousy link page and still under works, plus added a romanitque web list icon, sidebar. There are a lot of things I'll update about but one I'll do later, or when I have time.

There is a decision to be made; the question came out of the blue. I entered our den, and saw my mother checking her mail on the computer, I asked her if she was done with the computer and she said: “Malapit na.” I’m almost done. Then, she glanced at me. “Did they call?”

I knew she meant Power Books, I shook my head and said. “No.”

“Gusto mo bang pumunta sa Canada?” Would you like to go to Canada?

I blinked. That was a surprise, but I could see she’d been thinking of it. “Bakit?” Why?

“I’m just asking.”

“Who is?”

“Ako.” Just me.

Seconds passed before I could answer, thoughts rolled in my head and emotions: fear and excitement, they were doing a two step dance and I couldn’t think straight. “Maybe next year.”

“Next year you won’t be able to renew your U.S. Visa,” said my mother. The trip to Canada was actually planned last year, with a stop over to Los Angeles but midway, after I obtained my US Visa my parents decided I won’t join them due to lack of funds, but it would seem that the lack of funds is no longer a problem.

“Bakit hindi na makarenew?” Why won’t I be able to renew (my visa)?

“If you won’t use your Visa this year”, began my mother, “you would need to renew it again, this time on your own,” she returned her gaze to the computer screen. “And they’ll most likely turn you down.”

I could only stare at her. It was no secret getting a Visa these days was like pulling teeth, more people were being denied a Visa than ever before, since September 11.

“As long as you don’t leave me there,” I said, thinking of my mother’s plan of leaving me with the Canada-side relatives. Abroad was a better life, and better opportunities, my mother told me once, and she was right but I had to ask. “Bakit?” Why?

“Wala lang.” Nothing.

“Sige, wag ka na lang sumama.” Alright, don’t leave, if that’s what you want.

I left the Den feeling scattered, on the one hand I was relieved on the other hand I kept thinking of my mother’s words. At the opportune time a friend called, and I told her all about my mother’s question and my answer, naturally she called me silly. It was an opportunity, a far better one we will ever have if I stayed behind in the Philippines and earn a measly P8,000.

Of course, it is an opportunity, and of course I have dreamed of leaving the Philippines but faced with this, handed to me it seems so hard to grab it. Memories of friends, of relatives, of this house and my room finally furnished came crashing to my mind. I’ll be leaving something I’ve known all my life, something familiar and cozy for something unknown and faraway, even though I do have relatives there.

My friend urged me to go, it’s my dream she said and it’s a better life.

Excitement warred with fear. “Let me sleep on it.”

“Of course, but remember, despite what I said do what you want,” she advised, “Think about it.”

So, what do I do now? What do I decide?

Alright, surfing through Neil Gaiman’s journal I found this cool link to a site that generates poetry out of the contents of a website, curious I typed in my blog and got this:

canEdit new and National Bookstore been eyeing for the
occasional association with Jailbait!Kennedy. Ugh. also looking for
Power
Books and expectation.
It Scary thought of mainstream with Locke, he
managed to do, role
was easy
on the cast for fantasy,
into
a coma.However, once onboard the
Matrix, Reloaded Although I looked healthy
at 7:23 PM Monday, May
28, 2003 I think gay
I liked: The Oracle.


Fascinating results, eh? It doesn’t make sense at first, but it has a certain poetry-ness about it. So, I tried my Livejournal, too, gaze upon the masterpiece:


body td { : verdana, ; : 10pt; } tt, pre { : monospace; }
a { : series play all the right
at the scene where
you can get a novel. And when
not the
control he was so is must be
doing interviews and
green hat
16May2003|06:24pm] [ mood |
angry ] [
music | Indigo Girls Galileo ] I love
it, starts to step
in this
was startled to see in Istanbul
and the look so
hesitant,
because its not afraid intimidated
but I have forgotten who had
the problem
is like I do with
this, change is paradise
but. I live and I .want to
forget, a
rainy day [that. edit]
Blogger is in the
problem is a Neil Gaiman book,
and short stories, as of tito
Jojo, current obsession, tentatively titled Sailor
Moon.

Amazingly, wacky cool! Who knew you can make poetry out of the entries? Specially liked:

this, change is paradise
but. I live and I .want to
forget, a
rainy day [that. edit]
Blogger is in the
problem is a Neil Gaiman book,
and short stories, as of tito
Jojo, current obsession, tentatively titled Sailor
Moon.

Kinda e.e cummings-esque , ::stares at it in wonder:: I guess Rilke was right, poetry in everyday lives! Cool? Definitely.
I almost, almost can believe I can write poetry, nifty things programmer does.

I walked my dog in an effort to exercise, the result: a very tired, very sweaty me. Let it never be said I don’t exercise, coz, I do!

I’ve been really seriously thinking about putting out a web ‘zine, or a print zine it’s the thought niggling behind my mind and those thoughts brought on more such as thoughts: creating an online bookstore and a small publishing house/print and publishing chap books of short stories and novellas. It’s all cool and sound ideas, spurned on by an article I read over the internet about not just admiring works of other people but making one of your own, then he quoted High Fidelity: ‘putting out something new in the world’ or something to that effect, and truthfully? That appeals to me in all kinds of levels but the main drawback here is: Money.

Big surprise, not.

Plus, I don’t have any idea if this will work, or sell.

Anyone out there with thoughts?

[/edit]

On a whole 'nother tangent, I was looking over this post and it struck me (yes, I am dense, your point?) this kind of reads my state of mind:

canEdit new and National Bookstore been eyeing for the
occasional association with Jailbait!Kennedy. Ugh. also looking for
Power
Books and expectation.

Looking for Power Books and expectation. I've been looking for the job, and I've been expecting for the job, but it's the separation of Power and Books that's really interesting. And Jailbait!Kennedy. Ugh.? Too funny! he he, I'll be addicted to the Poem generator thing.

Matrix, Reloaded Although I looked healthy
at 7:23 PM Monday, May
28, 2003 I think gay
I liked: The Oracle.

This sounds more poetic and funny, with all the rhyme-y words to boot.

Okay, this is really bringing out the geek in me ;->

I have a livejournal and I have a blog, it's hard to juggle between the two, and hard to know which one to use. I like livejournal because, well, of the comment function and just irrational liking of it; my blogger because, well, my layout. So, sometimes I am torn which one to update or if I decide to update both how each would be different from the other.

Okay, so I am manic and strange about this, sue me.

Here, since I recently updated my lj, and it's a damn long entry on L'amour why don't you check it out.

Yes, I like Louis L'amour, and no, don't gawk at me.

Currently, I am depressed, my interview for Power books got cancelled until further notice. Mostly my fault, actually. I tell you I was early, early, early but somehow, my interview didn't come through, let me expound:

I went to the Customer Service to report for the interview and I was directed to the 'couch', where three other interviewees were nervously --alright, alright, I was nervous they weren't-- waiting for their turn. They all had books clutched, so I took a book and began to read, then took off my glasses.

Bad move.

Without my glasses, for some strange reason my hearing just diminishes.

So, one-by-one the three were called until I was alone on the couch, I waited. The HR person came out and called out some names that weren't there. Mistake No. 2 and my main failing rears its ugly head. I did not assert.

Yep, just sat there waiting like a big ol' sitter.

I waited and waited then, I came back to the customer service, and what? Directed again to the couch, but this time the HR person was there and told me that the interviews were finished and I was to return the next day or when they called.

Nice, Monic, very nice.

There goes my supposed job-to-be! I could hit my head on the wall, I really, really could.

Assert, assert! Grrr!

Grrr... again.

Oh, just kill me now.

I should be sleeping, scratch that, I should be writing an article, to be submitted tomorrow, or probably wednesday. I should write, but no, I am here, sitting, and surfing the net for other things but Intramuros. I am a dead monkey.

Matrix Reloaded.

Although I didn't particularly understand the frenzy of hype garnered by the first movie, I liked it in a ver visceral sense. Good to the eyes and the special effects mind-blowing. I've seen a lot of reviews of the Matrix Reloaded and weighed the factors of spending money for it. Eventually I did get to watch and, thankfully not spend a single cent.

I sat down to watch, freeing my mind (so to speek) of any expectations, I well know the track records of sequels and they are not a pretty bunch.

Spoil! Spoil! Away, mortals!

Matrix Reloaded starts approximately 6 months after the Matrix, with Neo properly accimilated to life in Zion. The movie starts with a dream, the first few scenes were amazing, even terrifying, eventually Neo wakes and begins his daily routine. A meeting of captains are held, Morpheus decides one of the ships stay to keep in contact with the Oracle. Zion is introduced, and the action begins.

Things I liked:

The clothes, the glasses, Agent Smith, the Oracle, the Seraph(?), Trinity, Neo's flying.


The clothes, the glasses - The first parts? Cool, eventually it gets old, fast. I could never understand why Neo or the other crew would wear glasses in the Matrix, particularly at night. Fighting requires violence, and violence tends to leave marks, bruises, scratches, smashed glasses, ripped clothes. Neo recieves none of that, sure he gains mastery of the Matrix, but it is hard empathizing with a hero who always wins, and not even get rattled, even during the battle with the 'a thousand and one' Agent Smith there was no sense of danger because Neo could beat back the tide, or failing that fly the hell out of dodge.

The villains always lose, it's hard to remember that they are a threat, and that they are all powerful.

I really could not wrap my mind why Morpheus commanded the Zion citizens "to shake this halls of earth, steel and stone" (or something like that). If a city is undersieged, no military commander in their right mind would ask the citizens to 'remind' the enemy they were there, or what position they were in. Frankly, I had more sympathy with Locke, he clearly loved Zion and it's not hard to think Morpheus is off his rocker about the whole prophecy. Locke was thinking in terms of practicality, which could serve Zion, not meaning to say to discount the prophecy altogether but the council should not have dismissed his concerns so lightly.

War was upon them, even anihiliation, sometimes practicality should rule over, but not discount some abstract hope or fancy.

Of course, my bias against Morpheus stems from Morpheus grandstanding speeches. He doesn't realize how grating his 'What if this could all be over tonight, isn't this worth fighting for? Isn't this worth dying for?' yotz to an outsider. Morpheus' total belief of the Prophecy has blinded him to other possibilities, which made the jarring realization that his beliefs may not be true all the more painful. That was some brilliant piece, near the end, when Morpheus realized the extent of the damage his blind stubborn belief has taken him. Away from the woman he loves, the deaths of his comrades, and the possibility of anihiliation.

In a sense, he has lost more than Neo. And maybe in that way Morpheus can be redeemed, and I'm kinda liking that idea. As long as he stops speechifying.

I wish they'd put more to Trinity's story, than Neo's romantic interest and link. She has a lot more energy, more things at stake and more emotions. I get the feeling Trinity wasn't there just because she was out of the Matrix and the safety of Zion, she was fighting because it was the right thing to do, sadlyTrinity's role was limited. Still, Carrie Ann-Moss delivered well.

Am I the only one unbalanced by the Head councilman being White? I don't know why but it unbalances me in a big way, and I could not see any interracial pairings in Zion, that's making me queasy no end.

The ending was a cop-out, it really was, Neo stopped a couple of machine bugs and *bam* Neo's in a coma.

However, I get this sense, that even Zion is part of the Matrix, in fact, they've never left it. Scary thought isn't it? How do you know your reality exists? Reality is a hard thing to grasp, especially after spending your whole life in a world that seemed real, but was in fact wasn't. So... let's wait til Revolutions.

Conclusion: Watching Matrix Reloaded means checking your expectations out the door, and you're in for a wonderful visually pleasing ride. Acting-wise, Keanu still has the perfect blankness, that at times works well with his character but not all times. However, once out I can't stop wincing about details, I am a geek this way.

The Matrix crossed some boundaries in it's first outing, it was shiny and new, and hey, Keanu Reeves, despite his cardboard acting was easy on the eyes. However, after a number of years watching the special effects, which made the Matrix special, the novelty had worn off.

-------

So, this is my first review, it's not as 'oooh' smart as I'd like, basically a few ramblings of what I disliked. I seriously tried to find the good but the hang-ups keep checking-in, maybe next time I'd get in things I liked.

By the way, submitted my resume to Power Books, *crosses fingers*.